Days That Wane

Cars speed by dodging errant pedestrians by the inch. The world around me spins in motion while I sit in the stillness on my little corner of the sidewalk. I feel the rush of the wind or maybe just the turbulence of the passing traffic. Every person and everything is on the go and I just sit here and wonder. I wonder their purpose for rushing about; I wonder their destination; I wonder about their life...are they content or are they looking for something more. I wonder what compels them and how they found themselves in this place. I wonder the same thing about myself too. I wonder what they wonder. Maybe they think, “What is this stupid American doing sitting on the side of the street looking all discombobulated at the crowd around him?”...LOL. I'm not sure about the actual answer to that question, but I know that I was reflecting on my journey in life and in my faith and I was humbled by the thought of how insignificant I am (now don't all raise your hands in arms just yet...hear me out).
 
One life in the world is like one drop in the ocean; if there were no drops there would be no ocean. But every drop rises and falls the same with the tide, every drop flows where the current takes it, and every drop rolls as the waves carry it. Like fingers curling to grip the shore, the waves break and dash the drops against the rocks along before being drawn back in to the depths. Each drop is part of a surging wave, and no drop could make a wave alone.

Maybe David felt a little like a droplet in the great ocean of life. He seemed to wonder at his own insignificance too: “O LORD, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow” (Ps 144:3-4). To David, it was something so great that God would be mindful of humans who live but for a moment and then die. We are but mist lingering in the morning but then dissipated suddenly by the wind. The fact that God looked upon David and helped him in his trouble caused David to rejoice and to sing a new song to the Lord for his goodness. David was a drop in the ocean, but God had a purpose for that drop and did not let it flow in the wrong current.
 
Psalm 139:16
You saw me before I was born.     
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out   
before a single day had passed.
  
The Lord knew what David was experiencing for he had seen it long before it ever happened. When David was on the run from Saul, he cried to the Lord for his mercy and enumerated the troubles that had come against him. In the midst of such turmoil he confessed, “When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn” (Ps 142:3). David didn't have it all figured out and he knew he couldn't. What was not making sense didn't matter because it was not really dependent upon him to make sense of it. David did not know what was going to happen but he knew that the Lord did and that if he had any chance of surviving, he needed the Lord's help.
 
And despite his predicaments in life, David proclaimed, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life” (Ps 142:5). David's passion was for the Lord himself and he knew that no matter what the outcome of his circumstances was going to be, the Lord's hand was guiding his life and his presence was all that mattered. Even if it seemed his life continued downward, even if he face trouble at every turn, even if he did not understand why things were happening to him, David was aware that his relationship with the Lord was the only reality he desired. His life was complete if he had the Lord. That was the one thing he was seeking to have in life above all else.
 
Psalm 143:8
Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,   
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,   
for I give myself to you.
  
So as I sit and wonder, I realize that even as a drop in the ocean, the Lord looks upon me and that there is a greater plan at work that has been set in motion and the Lord is in the process of revealing it. I find myself in awe knowing that I don't have to know what comes next. And even if that plan looks nothing like what I would choose, I must seek the Lord and know that he is the one writing the story.
 
As the days wane in life, I am striving to be content sitting on the curb and simply wanting to be in the presence of the Lord. If I have him, I have everything I need.  In his presence there is joy forevermore!
 
Come what may or come what must
even a drop in the ocean finds its course
when it finally learns how to trust.  ~JW
 
Psalm 62:5
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.